Marginally True Sports Star Stories: Jim Marshall

Legendary football star Jim Marshall was born December 30, 1937 in the tiny town of Danville, KY into a life of adversity, triumph, innovation, and above all - football. Not overly large by today's defensive end standards, Marshall eventually grew to the then-record height of 6'3" and weighed a then mind-boggling 235 lbs. The next largest in his family was Jim's uncle Henry, who stood a 1940's-impressive 5'8". Given Jim's size and natural tendency towards mauling, a career in the NFL was all but inevitable for this young man.

Jim played college football at Ohio State University, spending his meager time outside the classroom both working on his 3 point stance and, perhaps more infamously, on his night moves. A notorious womanizer, Marshall was known throughout the Colombus area for his "sub-fucking-stantial girth". Local ERs became so inundated with Marshall's ladies that the acronym GFBJM (Got Fucked By Jim Marshall) was added to admission forms. He left school before his senior year, and played for the Saskatchewan Roughriders (previously the Sasketchewan Easy Lovers) of the Canadian Football League.

He was then drafted in the 4th round of the NFL draft by the Cleveland Browns. Marshall played the 1960 season with the Browns. While not known for his on-the-field exploits in Cleveland, he nonetheless remains a substantial part of Cleveland lore. After one particularly celebratory night that included dinner (87 spicy garlic wings) and well over 47 cans of Coors original, Jim made his eternal contribution to the rich culture of Cleveland. Whilst artfully breast-thrusting a young waitress, Jim felt an unstoppable urge to rid himself of the previously mentioned spicy garlic wings he had so thoroughly enjoyed hours earlier. On a cold November 1960 night in one of Cleveland's most romantic alleys, Jim Marshall invented the Cleveland Steamer.

Jim Marshall's Innovative Work

Jim played from 1961 to 1979 with the Minnesota Vikings. He started in 270 consecutive games at defensive end from 1961 to 1979, a National Football League record for consecutive starts.

He played in Pro Bowls after the 1968 and 1969 NFL seasons. Having recovered 29 fumbles, an NFL record, Jim was a famed member of the Vikings' famous "Purple People Eaters".

Marshall was involved in an embarrassing professional moment on October 25, 1964. In a game against the San Francisco 49ers, Marshall recovered a fumble, but ran 66 yards with it the wrong way, into his own end zone. Thinking that he had scored a touchdown for the Vikings, Marshall then threw the ball away in celebration. The ball landed out of bounds, resulting in a safety for the 49ers. Fortunately for Marshall, his Vikings won the game 27-22, in part because of a key sack and fumble he forced after his miscue. Marshall later received a telephone call from Roy Riegles, who had run the wrong way for a safety in the 1929 Rose Bowl that his University of California team lost, 8-7.

When asked for a comment on the gaff after the game, Jim said cryptically, "bitch I fuck you."

Jim Marshall is currently retired and resides in the small town of St. Liu Croix in Southwestern Florida, where even at the age of 70 he hones his groundbreaking techniques.